She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
I just spent the last two hours on the phone with Emily trying to explain to her how to finger herself.
she's like bobby knight all she does is scream and point
Reading in my econ of energy textbook about the US' largest oil spill from the 1990's.. guess i can't sell this one back either
votings over. no more wacking it to anti christine o'donnell ads
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
With the drought our water bill is skyrocketing. No more shower sex, masturbating, or pretending to be under a water fall after smoking a blunt.
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
A beef tasting is not what I needed while hungover
Apparently mr clean magic erasers don't clean blood off the ceiling
I never thought my gollum impression would lead to me getting laid.
Huzzah!
I just slammed a bottle of white wine before I came to Whole Foods so basically I'm just training to be a middle aged white woman.
Randomize
