Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I can't believe we just used the phrase "jizz to juice ratio" in casual conversation.
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
I'm pretty sure this city writes new vice laws specifically because of us.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
Id have to say flaming beer pong was a royal success.
We had sex on a lawn chair while fireworks were going off last night. It was unavoidable that I got mosquito bites all over my ass
I've realized that I'm going to have to wake and bake every morning to make it through the summer without killing someone. This is ridiculous.
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
i think ive reached a prime reproductive point in my life or somethin- i see gingers and all i want to do is have their babies. like my body knows that i have a to carry on a legacy
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
dad says come back and get the lawn mower out of the pool before mom gets home
i was ready to conquer the fucking world. i would have fought vin deisel to the death without hesitation
Randomize
