i just noticed 4 flies in my red wine. i drank them.
He made sure to throw up on the Mexico side of the border while we were in line at the check point. Then finished by screaming you an have it back. You can have it all back.
She's dressed as a slutty Dalmatian. I doubt she has morals.
They reenacted the scene from the lion king where mufasa talked to simba from the clouds. As high as they were they got it word for word. There has to be an award for that.
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
She pulled vodka outta the dryer and told me to drink it
I'm using toast as a chaser. If I wasn't already so fucked up this would be revolting.
We invented this drinking game where you pick and random video and drink for every misspelled word in the youtube comments. It did not end well.
Well, you know sobriety isn't something I like to do on the reg.
The sex was so bad. I kept sending people snapchats of my face during it.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
How do you tell a vegan you want him to stuff you like a turkey?
My one night stand ended up seeing me the next morning... For my interview. Guess who got a job.
Randomize
