can we get nightvision for the apartment?
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Dental hygienist just pulled two flakes of glitter out. And asked me how i've been doing with the divorce.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
Just had a tv talk show interview in my mirror. Got into to some pretty heavy shit man, would have made good viewing.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
I feel bad for his balls. Ive never seen so much sperm. He had to be dying
You said "bag of dicks" before passing out and falling off the landing
Oh god... Please tell me Sarah didn't see me like this
...you may have kinda punched her in the tit on the way down...
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
That's it. I'm moving to LA & sitting on his face.
QUICK FAX ME THE BALL
Not how faxing works at all btw
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
Randomize
