id be glad to
So I'm eating my burger minding my own business, when the guy next to me starts up a conversation. Seemed normal at first, stocks, bonds, etc...then he said...and I quote "I can push a bowling-ball up a flight of stairs with my tongue." As I awkwardly laughed he broke out "I bet you I could bite the head off of a rabbit."
singing james blunt while drunk. tell me thats not wonderful
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Nicee. Atleast your phone doesn't change pen in to PENISsSSSSSSS like mine does
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
She gave us all a pep talk at the bus stop at 1 AM. It involved cupcakes and somehow ended with her making out with her best friend. God bless college.
I think the name vodka for a girl is amazing
The last thing I remember is crying and shaking my head as she was putting salt on my hand. I guess I took the shot
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I'm really glad I had vomit on my sweater when I met his sister.
Randomize
