dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
No, when he said that he wished he had my eyebrows, THATS when I knew he was gay.
we went to sleep in different beds and woke up spooning. alcohol truly is the anti-cockblocker.
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
I just took a shit in a BP station. It seemed appropriate since they are shtting in our ocean.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
the bartender cut you off himself after you started walking on tops of tables and hugging random people
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
I'm pretty sure they changed the plants at the grocery store because of us
TSA literally pulled two bottles of whiskey out of my bag. Once he saw the leopard print socks and the mickey mouse tank, he put it back in my bag and said "Have a fun trip, man."
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
I don't remember anything but bad decisions last night
Does your Fitbit monitor your liver failure?
Plus we had to have sex before the game because there is a good chance we won’t be speaking for the rest of the week. #ironbowl
Randomize
