i learned a valuable lesson last night. sometimes nice girls finish first. twice.
I think vodka calistinics prior to and during beer olympics was a bad idea
I love girls that fake tan. Can you say p p p p p p p p pumpkin face
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
a girl just walked by me crying on the phone saying, "all I ever do is menstruate"
Wore last nights jeans to Christmas Dinner with the fam, found a half gram of blow, while they're praying ill be railing.
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
I feel like our low point of the night was when we had to start chasing with ice cubes and wheat thins.
I like to think I'd be good at dodging genitalia.
I am too drunk to be out in this weather around all these animals.
Escorted out of jimmy johns because I refused to leave with my dog. Stole a loaf of bread on the way out.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
do you remember your solution to not spill your drinks last night? .. Shots, that way you wouldnt have time to spill them. i love your drunken logic haha
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
Do you think if I explain to her I want to have loud, unprotected sex with her sister she'll understand?
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