Do vagina's smell?
So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
im holly from the hills drunk
Iiiiiii almost fall ib the lake
So I'm really hungover walking to work and these douches from comcast on bikes ask if they can take a picture with me to show that they're doing their job. The picture: me, this chick from comcast, i'm holding a 2 ft. pixie stick, a comcast flyer and i'm puking in the parking lot. sounds like their doing a good job!
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
just walked past the recycling bin in class, there's keystone cans in it. go cougs.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Dude. My cat just tried to bat the tampon string hanging from body. NOT COOL, SEYMOUR. NOT COOL.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
Remember when you walked in on me sleeping INSIDE a pillowcase?
Ok so I didn't mean for his first impression of me to be lying face down on his roommates bedrooms floor throwing up my jäger but it happened. Atleast my ass looked good in those jeans. Think I still have a shot?
Chipotle farts are not good for seducing boys.
There was one thing about my NYC trip I forgot to tell you: I took a dump in Trump Tower
My orgasm happened in two different decades
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