I want to kish your cheek
My cheeks are in Michigan
Oh my lips are kind of stretchy
I think getting shot is the thing to do in Brooklyn
Midget Michael Jackson impersonator dancing to Beat it in Penn Station almost caused me to miss my train. God, I
his cum tasted like old pizza and looked like old milk
she said if she won the lottery she'd fuck me... isn't that like government funded prostitution?
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
it was a whole new experience in the world of ball fondling
The bartender from Thursday remembered me... And gave me a FLAMING BUCKET of alcohol.
I forgot my id and a man called soup is buying me vodka.
He was fucking her while he was wiping my tears.
This hot topless Jamaican just ran down the st with me on his back and He was screaming "I be stealing yo white ladies."
I don't know if i should be jealous or worried... or question where you are.
I feel like I took a shit on my life and you're rubbing my nose in it.
You suck at answering, but you did manage to avoid a fun conversation about hemorrhoids. So maybe you're great at answering.
Doing laundry. My jeans from last night smell like chicken wings and motor oil.
Shut up. The only friend I need in life is Jim Beam because life is meaningless.
Randomize
