Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
He felt like a one man threesome
When you gave me the first bj i thought 'yep, this girl is going to do great things with her life'
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
His mom walked into the kitchen smiling, made a scotch on the rocks, hit my bong, and told us goodnight enthusiastically. He's suddenly more appealing to me.
bark. im thoroughly looking forward to kegs and eggs. next weekend should be pancakes and pinnical, then cereal and seagrams and then whiskey and waffles.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
I have a surprise for you
Is it drugs? I want drugs. Or a puppy!
I think a kid would responsible me up
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
She just drunkenly falls over and yells " I lost my footing!" in a british accent and then proceeds to run into the wall... did you spike her water?
I've orgasmed four times in the past 24 hours. And my mom's dropping off cookies later
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
You planned on giving him head in the shower?
More like I just fell and it seemed like a good idea when I was down there
Randomize
