guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
coming from the girl bound and determined to pee in the snow
why would you restrict a girl of that
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
My nose hurts from that stripper beating me with her tits
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
I mean you would really have to try to not have fun at a party that doesn't require pants....
Dude, did you fall in a toilet on the way over here?
Was face down in one actually. Bars 2, Drew 0.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
Having a heartfelt conversation with your boyfriends mom while sexting her son. If that's not multitasking, I don't know what is.
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
SOS YOU NEED TO TAKE THE CANDY PANTIES OUT OF THE GLOVE COMPARTMENT BEFORE MOM TAKES MY CAR
I've had my dick out in public way too much for someone my age...
Invitations to sext will not be acknowledged until 10 a.m. EST. Thank you for your cooperation. We apologize for any inconvenience.
Randomize
