i can't wait to go to hell
yeah...all of my friends will be there for sure
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
DUDE, DID YOU KNOW YOU CAN JUST RENT AN ELEPHANT???
Oh God.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Obviously last night's theme was "Let's Make Bad Life Choices"
I just have to decide what I love more, food or dick.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
We figured you were on something when you said that your nipples couldn't hear the music.
I said I hate kids.This dude said he will sell his children to go on a date with me.
But if you do poop yourself let me know. I want that as a tagline. "So funny she'll make you shit yourself."
As a home can we vote to stab Peter?
Drunk sex on a hardwood floor is never ever a good idea. Lesson learned.
ps why does my dog smell like popcorn and a dryer sheet..?
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