wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
i will soon be in a relationship on fb
you!?
me and your mom. i mean, lisa.
Everyone needs a good pregnancy scare in their life.
We pinky-swore to never fuck each other again.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
Definitely just put my car on cruise control so I could stick my head out of the sunroof while driving to taco bell.
okay just a general question, but if i got arrested, who here would bail me out. this is important.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
Right but I don't wanna waste the whole weekend not having sex when we could be having sex
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
Went to put my shoe on and asked myself why I left a sock in it. I didn't. Needless to say I found our used condom.
he sneezed into my face mid-kiss
Bless his heart
YOU CAN'T GET A TATTOO BECAUSE OF KPOP FANFICTION. THAT'S NOT HOW LIFE WORKS
Randomize
