I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
Should I hook up with a slut its your call
Yes. Wrap it. If you dont have a condom do it anyway. YOU ONLY LIVE ONCE.
Its already bleeding so dont be alarmed after you bite it
At least you didnt end up topless in a Tina Turner wig singing cabaret tunes
You dont ever try to use your dick as a power washer to get bits of poop of the toilet bowl?
Puking in one of the stalls, a guy ran in and started puking in the other stall... In between heaves we told each other our names; i found out that it was my old best friend that moved away in the 8th grade
I just asked my hair stylist how many percocets she'd do my hair for.
The kid in the park, who was on a leash I might add, looked at us and yelled "stranger danger" before hiding behind his dad
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
Oh my god he's laying on a longboard singing the song from cool runnings.
As yoda would say; A bitch, she is.
Just found the measuring tape in my bathroom. How drunk could I have possibly been on Saturday?!
We decorated the tree, drank wine, and he went down on me with Christmas music on in the background. Christmas IS coming.
It's National Whipped Cream Day, prep those nips
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