Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
Just realized after we're done pre-gaming for St. Patricks Day, we have March Madness, the first day of spring, and Easter to pre-game for. March is a great month.
tequila makes me forget i have legs
I called her new haircut "lesbian progressive" and now she's upset
You chanted SOFA PIZZA all night then we woke up to find about ten slices under the cushions where you were sleeping....
We blazed in her bathtub. All 5 of us. Not easy bro
I mean i can't really be mad...either way i was gonna fuck him or hate fuck him, so it's basically a win/win situation.
THIS IS NO TIME FOR SHAME JOSH. JUST GOTTA GET IT IN. PURELY FOR LEVELING UP PURPOSES
He is so sweet! He thanks me for sending him dirty pix. I should keep him.
He goes from zero to fucking up in 2.4 drinks. Like the sportscar of bad decision making.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
I have so much to do, no motivation, and Harry Potter is on. You KNOW whats taking priority in my life right now
It's not even noon yet and I just fucked my professor's son in the psych lab..it's gonna be a great day.
Randomize
