are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
There could not be a more unattractive person. She just told me her period was so bad that she got sick. I think my penis retracted and killed himself
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
At least I can pee in a cup like a champ at this point
He specifically said I couldn't post the picture of him passed out naked except for a strategically placed washcloth. Where's the fun in that?
YOU'RE MARRIED. TO OTHER PEOPLE.
Jesus, I think this onesie was designed to keep me from masturbating.
Let's be honest I'm gonna watch murder she wrote and eat taquitos at three am
Of course I'm using oj as a mixer, its flu season.
You are driving me to get new toys, i am test driving them on the way home.
We are taking your truck.
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
So the makeout sesh? Not so great. His stubble rubbed my face raw, he tried to push me towards auto-erotic asphyxiation, and he licked my forehead. Twice.
Randomize
