sitting with a guy who's looking at the cum stains on the bed. Do you think he's convinced it's from the cat?
No. He thinks you're slutty.
Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
at least i was responsible enough to take off my shoe and throw up in it
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
Okay I know I said I was going to quit drinking for a while but apparently pumpkin pie flavored vodka is a thing and I will not rest until I have some.
Just made a drunk dude do 20 push-ups. In the parking lot of the bar tonight for a keystone light I found in the back of my truck.
Oh yum
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I don't know if should be sitting on a toilet or kneeling in front of it
You had 10 drinks. On a first date.
I just masterbated then started bawling.
I have a 8 minute video of a fish tank on my phone.
We need to stop going to pet stores high.
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
I don't care how many things you caught on fire, it's still not as bad as doing coke and then filming yourself having sex.
we got cockblocked by his mom again...its like she has a radar on me
please stop trying to sleep with him
man do I wish I knew who this naked guy in my room was...
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