he keeps his weed in a birkenstock shoe box. its like, we get it, youre from oregon.
you know its a sad night when you can actually see and hear sitcoms on at the bar
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
For future reference, never invite the people you met at Dunkin Donuts at 2am to your house to watch Dogma
Take advantage man but know that every anal bead u drop inside her will make her love u 2% more. It's science
Like for real, is your junk ok? I have to look after my investments.
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I had an epiphany. If a dude dressed up as Batman to ask me out, I'd prolly marry him.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
I didn't know what to do so I panicked and puked in my pillowcase with my pillow still inside.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
ANIME MEN ARE MAKING ME QUESTION MY SEXUALITY AGAIN
just saw a girl run into an automatic sliding door, back up and try again
Shame is for Republicans.
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