Don't cheat on me with the blonde bimbo religi freak
I wouldn't touch her with a ten foot pole
She's blonde
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
Do you know how hard it is to masturbate with a runny nose?
he told me he wanted to get "words" tattooed on his penis so he could say hes always putting words in my mouth..
Guy next to me is looking up how to press his own ecstasy pills. I'm going to befriend him and see where this goes
I'm like a magical alcohol dispenser. I pulled this kahlua out of my vagina.
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
i told the cop we knew everyone at the party, it was 250 of our closest friends and she's like funny nobody on the balcony knew whose house this was
Thats why they were on the balcony!
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
well my grandpa saw your dick pic, so why don't you tell me how my day is going
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
I'm determining which apartments I'm mostly to move into based on how suitable the kitchens are for sex .
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Can I use your boat
Also, what’s the deal with international water? Do they have signs out there like a city does or do I need a map?
WTH is going on? It’s the middle of the night
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