goodnight i made you a song goodbye
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
they're both coked to the gills having a shouting match about the powers and abilities of godzilla. and using the wikipedia entry on the topic to support their respective arguments.
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
Yeaaah. I'm kinda wary about that guy. Does he still have that taser that he found on the train?
at what point last night did we decide it was okay to let me hitch hike to another bar?
I've never known a guy to fuck more random girls in the ass then Dom. His rectal kill ratio is at like 85%
He's like the Derek Jeter of Anal
If you like her enough, bring her with. If not, eloquently cunt punt that bitch through the field goals of life.
Those two lesbians inspired me. A whole new way to roll. Fuck shots. Gallons of vodka is the new tequila.
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
I will run into the sunset with a fist full of condoms.
He's going to wonder why I have burn marks on my asshole
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Randomize
