Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
At first I was confused when I woke up with shards of glass and pickle brine in my pants. But then I remembered I hung out with you last night.
just drew up plans to mow my front lawn into the American flag for world cup. that high and patriotic.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
You stuck a chicken finger in that stripper's clevage and said "Keep this warm for me.
Im in mikes bed telling my vagina I'm sorry in advance.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
I just hope when I turn 21, it doesn't tank my entire semester.
When do you want to get tanked and forget our entire college education?
my ass is still wet. this is highly unpleasant. give me 5 to get changed and I'm all yours. or you can yell things to me while I shower and burn clothes
Is it weird that my ex and the dude I'm talking to now both only have one testicle? Apparently I've found my type..
the cuervo was good, but I started with jello shots. and when i threw up a whole jello shot came out.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
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