idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
Latest life lesson : don't accidentally send an "I nutted on her tramp stamp" text to your tattoo-less girlfriend. Oops.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
Look on the bright side. Now you know the number for poison control.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
please bring me a paper towel asap.
I was drinking wine in bed and spilt some on my chest.. And I cautiously guided it into my belly button but now I dont know what to do.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
Got into Princeton. So excited about the mommy-issue-over-achieving-cock I get to ride the next 4 years!!!
She gave me a job then fed me cheesecake in bed. She's a keeper!
also, my mom just called to make sure the dick tattoo on your arm was fake..
Randomize
