She has HUUUUUUUGE nipples
So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Bars not open yet, I feel like a desperate alcoholic wandering around outside.
my vagina has been out of service for wayy too long... this semester needs to start like right now
Just got tipped $5 for distracting some dude's gf while he got another girl's number. Bro-code at its finest.
I woke him up this morning and said I have a meeting w my advisor in an hour you need to wake up, cum on my face, and take me to my car.
We were all in the pool and he showed up with a pitcher of margarita. Everyone swam over to him. He poured it directly into our mouths like we were a Sea World act.
i hate going to her parties because i always know everyone there which means everyone knows my ex which means i wont get laid
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
And then god smiled down upon me and he said let there be hangover food and let it be Wendy's
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
Randomize
