We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
we were making out and he got up to change his pants. I wonder what would happen if i took my shirt off.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
I just realized I'm not towing a trailer. I thought this whole drive home I was towing a trailer. Wow too high
I'm wearing red that night.
Noted, what shade?
Whore.
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Everything I own smells like cigarettes and victory right now. The smell is never coming out.
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
I mean, you've seen me eat pizza, sober, out of a garbage can, and yet I refuse to go eat at that place. Just sayin....
I lost the right to judge tonight
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
Randomize
