Contrary to popular belief, while 19 is an attractive age, it does not equate to sexual prowess.
So I went out tonight...met a guy who slightly resembled my dad,huge creeper, he asked me to "hang out" so I gave him my moms number since he was more her type:)
the fucking easter bunny is here. he just made 3 cups in a row. no one knows who he is..
Just went outside to gather hail to use to make margaritas since we ran out of ice. That's God's way of helping us out.
A shower wasnt enough to wash off the shame but at least it took care off the blood.
Kinda sad when you get home on a Sunday morning and the paper guy HAND DELIVERS the newspaper to you...,
I cartwheeled across every street... They tried to stop me but I bit anyone who came near me
He stumbled into my room, flopped on my bed, shoes on my pillow and asked me for a juice box. Then fell asleep with the juice box on his forehead.
I'm basically flying you out for a long weekend of sex and going to the zoo
I'm cool with that
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
You threw a handful of caps into a pitcher of Heineken and asked everyone if they wanted to go "bobbing for molly"
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
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