the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
I hope to God it wasnt poon. That odor was unnatural, it was satanic pussy.
yay america 4th of july drinking game. take a drink every time you hear or see a firework, finish your drink for a mention of mj or the gosselins, a shot for the words democracy,hope, freedom, terrorism
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
Apparently im getting a reputation for how i mix drinks. Im the midas of booze. Everything i touch turns to koolaid.
You say you're gonna take rehab seriously... but i keep imagining it as a training montage for you preparing to snort all of columbia.
That actually is really sweet of you
Also, upon examining the photos, I have concluded that you were the sloppiest drunk girl of the night. And that's saying something considering Hurricane Jessica was in town.
You should probably stop your little brother from ruining thanksgiving. I just caught him trying to stuff a cake in a drawer... And now he's puking.
So far in the last ten minutes I have tried to pour cereal into a plate. Today's gonna be a great day.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
I thought my ass was sore from the gym then I realized it was from being spanked. Confusing time in my life.
So if I run into you on the street, I'm supposed to just stop drop and suck your dick?
But Keith is doing MDMA for New Years and he's 39.
Keith has a beautiful 20 year old girlfriend, a good job and a cute puppy. We can't all be Keith.
But I want to be Keith.
He looks like Aladdin, and that's about all he's got going for him.
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