Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
He blew a load on his roommates pillow just to piss him off. Why did you introduce me to these people?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I had a glass of wine for breakfast. It's gonna be a rough week.
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
His exact words: "I don't have anything you can't treat with antibiotics."
Currently sifting through all the dick pics and nudes for a picture of my dad and I to post on social media for Father's Day...
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
Randomize
