Is that you in the white hat?
Fine suit yourself
I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
He asked me if I "almost moaned"
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
he had a blacklight sublime poster, of course i had to do him.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
Ask him about a girl named Meg then give a disappointed and disapproving face.
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
N.C. cops just used a megaphone to tell me I have a slutty outfit. My life is complete.
I'm like five sips away from making a Craigslist post for true love and mustaches. My family is going to disown me tonight.
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
Eh. Fuck him. He's missing out. I'm legit naked and drinking straight from the bottle of wine.
She's Jesus crazy. And one if not more other forms of crazy. She's 2.5+ crazy.
I'm too high and old for this...
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
Randomize
