I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
pregamed for the floor meeting. so stoned. i keep thinking my RA is shrinking.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
he got everyone in a room, turned off the lights and started throwing knives at the wall. if you got hit, you had to drink...
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
your house isnt even gonna be on google maps after this party
I was woken up in my old house by the new residents ... I don't even have a Key anymore
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
Hooked up with a 20 year old. Only reason I did was cos I thought he was 18
You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
Why is there a whip in the kitchen?
Oh god it's open bar.
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
Randomize