awww and there was just a proposal on stage with the pussycat dolls !!!!!
Did someone propose they get off the stage?
Sadly no. But I was pantsless when they came to get me. Which made me miss you...
Im drinkin out of a coconut! I think im gonna dip my balls in it!
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Omg I just met another drunk guy that is teaching me karate
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I'm having Vietnam flashbacks. This Kid I hooked up with is speaking in class and I keep experiencing the terror.
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
I don't think I can recall what a 23 year old cock felt like if one slapped me in the face.
Someone drunkenly cleaned and organized my car last night... Nothing's missing, so that's a plus.
I should've realized you were drunk when you began to point at my crotch while yelling "Funland!!!"
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
I want to be her friend more than I want to fuck her boyfriend.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
Randomize
