I feel like dying is the new "adopt an african baby"
it was like eating out sand paper
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
One reason I don't come to Portland. I saw 8 guys I have had sex with last night. At the same party.
By 8 I mean 9.
And by 9 I mean 10.
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
Lets get real here, ive seen your moms breasts multiple times
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
I'm still me, I just happen to have things in my porn library that you may not have expected
Only you would come out as bi like that
We're keeping you on a leash this Saint Patrick's Day
I can't believe i just offerred a guy a burrito and head, and got turned down. Officially celibate now.
I just took a plan B pill with my preworkout. That's the level I'm on today.
That reminds me of the morning I woke up on the sidewalk covered in chicken wings
Having random cyber sex while watching to catch a predator just seems wrong.
Randomize
