i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
I told a kindergarten student that candy canes are bones of reject elves.
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
We had three bowls going. It was a tri-bowl tournament. Harry potter shit.
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
ITS THE FIRST FRIDAY NIGJT AFTER MOVING IN WITH THE NEW ROOMIE AND I ACTUALLY JIST RIPPED MY TAMPON OUT AND THREW IT IN THE NEIGHBORS YARD WERE GOINF ON THE BOAT AND SLEPEING IN HIS AMBULANCE GOODNIGHT
i woke up in a bed of pop tarts
I like it here so far, only people are a lot less accepting of my terrible decisions and it's cramping my style
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Don't put me in that position. I am not qualified to be the responsible adult here.
He said watch this and then went and tripped into a group of 40 year old women, now he's leaving the club with them.
Randomize
