I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
...you put a chicken patty in my toaster last night..
Someone carved 'Hank' in all caps in the snow outside my apartment building so naturally I turned the capital H into a K and added an S to the front.
I think college has really matured you.
Well my dea agent brother is visiting so I'm gonna get high and see if he notices
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
Things I can say. There is a photo of me pouring whipped cream into a midgets mouth.
Tried making out with pop rocks in my mouth. That shit is magical.
Red flag bro. Her only friends are barflys and a teen with a fake ID
This is classic penis vs brain.
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
I say I hate my boss but I find myself jerking off to him more and more with each passing day
One. But meh. I upped my age limit to like 29 hoping I'll match with this one fedex guy that delivers packages to my work
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
I think/hope James is drunk. He's standing in the front lawn loudly declaring "I AM a popsicle!" Over and over....
Randomize
