The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Are you dead or are you taking another 13 hour nap? you need to let me know these things ahead of time so i dont worry.
I scrubbed the bathroom, smoked a bowl, and gave myself 3 orgasms. If the world ends today, I feel accomplished.
Drunk me was responsible for doing it, but sober me was definitely cheering him on
My roommate didn't flush after her miscarriage. Time to drink myself blind. I need you for moral support. Or so I don't have to drunkenly cry alone anymore. Whatever, help.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just walked in on my lesbian roommate having sex in the kitchen, and it was awesome. We proceeded to shots naked together. Happy birthday to me.
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I've been on the toilet for an hour. On a six day bender. My ass feels like its leaking vodka
STAY IN YOUR APARTMENT. DONT GO TO SAFEWAY TO BUY CONDOMS. DONT GO TO THE VAN.
Update: they told me I was twerking to twenty one pilots
if jesus wore shoes made out of pure flavor and hurricane kicked u in the face thats how it feels to eat pizza bites right now
I know that whole thing was awkward. Not worth the piece of cake.
Randomize