Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
He ate me out like a beaver on a tree. I've never been so scared in my life
Operation: sleep in every bed at the boys' house is nearing completion. Now at 5/9. I AM GOLDILOCKS AND NO ONE CAN STOP ME
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
We are magical, pot smoking, smart as hell, single as fuck, woodland dolphins.
Also, I found your gauge.
I found it under my pillow like a gift from the Sex Fairy.
Fucked him in his sketchy van in the Applebee's parking lot. In other news, my dry spell is over.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
soo... how was my night?
my mom walked in on me eating her out, and i can never kiss my mother again.
Found my paycheck. It was in the freezer
Randomize
