very cute, but more "I wanna put you in my pocket and keep you as a pet" and less "please bang me" type of cute.
I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
Imagine that my comprehension level is that of a 7 year old and explain your plan again
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Check having sex on the rocks and dirt on the peak of saddleback mountain off my list.
I felt like a god.
She was touching herself and looking a shoes online. My debt is bad enough without bringing that hot mess into my life.
You guys wanna start around 10:30 tomorrow?
We can start at 5am for all I care. You ask like I have plans.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
I tried to steal a Mike's Hard sign last night but it didn't work out
why what happened?
Well it was going fine.. until the bouncer noticed the three foot steel lemon sticking out of my jacket.
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
You went home with a guy at 11... than returned to the bar at 1
Just stay awake and booze cruise it to class. How are you a senior and have never went to class drunk? No excuses, I have a better gpa.
Randomize
