Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
Whenever he makes me dinner its always mini things.. cheeseburgers, corndogs.. is he preparing me for something?
they ran out of cups so I just drank out of a cowbell.
I just saw fred flintstone in my fruity pebbles!
what drugs are you on?
none, cept for the pain medication i got prescribed by the doc: it said 2 pills every 3 hours, but I took 6 cuz i'll be away from home later
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
apparently he was unaware pussies come in unshaved form. curse you redtube and your unholy lies
I woke up in the closet and then I found my shirt in a bag of Doritos... how does that work out?
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
Someday. I cant very well invite myself to his dorm room. And I'm 28. The excuses to be drunk and running into him at uconn are rather slim. Although I'm working on it.
Anyhow, I am sorry for being obnoxious about wanting more sex and forcing you to eat lunchmeat off of my ginormous nipples. I knew that you weren't going to succumb to my pushy demands
Hey my dad gave me life the least I can do is take him chicken strips and a pack of marlboros.
You had a fry stuck to your face... Every five mins you would wake up, take a bite, put it back then fall asleep again...
The bros used their bong water as pong water but I walked in mid game and didn't know so they hit our first cup and I chugged it.
If I get really high and watch Beauty and The Beast on our Netflx account, will you judge me?
Only if you start before I get home!
Randomize
