If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Also, just grabbed a bunch of "tuxedo black" condoms. formal, anyone?
I just got a booty call..Its 6 pm..a brave attempt to climb the rotation ladder..I like his ambition.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
You face planted into a car door. And somehow didn't drop your burrito.
Just played slippy cup. Flip cup plus slip n slide. What did you do with your fourth of july?
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
Whoever put the rooster in the elevator is my fucking hero. Who even thinks of that shit?
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
It's gotten to the point where waking up in my own apartment is a surprise
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
You can accomplish quite a bit with a can do attitude and a well placed ice cube.
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