If this place produced love children they would be born wearing Lilly Pullitzer with raging coke addictions.
She said as long as i don't wake her up she doesn't care what hole i use.
Got yourself a keeper right there.
totally just realized while washing my face that Cetaphil looks like semen.
He's like the houdini of condoms. I never even realized he put one on before we fucked. he's magical.
Whatever. It was high school. Back then I'd blow anyone who had enough room between their chest and their steering wheel for my head to fit.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I should have been on a postcard. I was sitting in the middle of the forest with a plate full of pot brownies and missing you.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
Too bad, iambic pentameter is a drunk specialty of mine.
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I fucked her on her ex's Yankee sheets while she was wearing an Ortiz jersey...of course she gets to meet my mother
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
Randomize
