Three questions. How does a tomato drive a car, how does an asparagus play a guitar, and how am I still so high that I chose to watch Veggie Tales?
I'm so high that a hulu ad convinced me to go on healthybaby.com
I'm having a chugging contest on the streetcar. The driver is judging.
Plus someone just passed me a joint through the window. BEST STREETCAR RIDE EVER
I cant talk about it right now or let you guess, but its something you and i would do. Kinda like that time we had the case of beer and went bowling
You hooked up with minors in a golf cart?
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
No kidding. I just keep looking at that 'under 21 until 11/21/2011' on my id and whispering "soon enough"
He came in 20 minutes late for his final wearing plastic bags on his feet, and a tablecloth cape. Explain.
My body is a temple...that happens to be able to get me free Patron shots at the bar
we got kicked out of McDonald's because you kept screaming THAT SHIT CRAY at the woman in front of us because she ordered a fish filet.
...that shit cray.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
I don't have any plans for New Year's except watching anime and drinking until I can't read the subtitles anymore.
OK... But I need to shower first because I'm covered in stuff I definitely shouldn't have slept in
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
Randomize
