I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
My professor is talking about sperm and all I can think about is my mouth
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
That's two mile stones in one shot. A ginger and that's my third ashley.
im trying to find a facebook picture of him that doesnt make me regret sleeping with him. its not working
He told me the escort brought him pizza. Can something be sad and awesome at the same time ?
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
my dry spell has ended & now it's like a tsunami of dick i can't handle it
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
My roommate randomally bought me two bags of pretzels. Worst "Sorry you can hear me fucking my boyfriend everynight" gift ever.
I just put a pill up my vagina. It was little like a quail egg. There is so much happening up there right now.
Is it sad that the most attractive guy I've come across in a week that's not my professor is the man doing my pedicure?
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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