She STILL went home with me even when I said yes when she asked if I had an infectious disease. Turns out she asked if I had an infectious spirit...well she has my infectious spirit now
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
I was throwing up in the shower. He was throwing up on me. It was a cute couple moment for us.
I probably should have waited until after the game to pity fuck him. You know, seeing as we lost.
Well he walked in last night, yelled at me for not playing any music and started dancing.
So because I got upset you didn't answer I threw my phone in the garbage disposal last night
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
I was too drunk to remember throwing up so i probably didn't learn my lesson
It took me three days, but I managed to nearly get arrested on my way out of LA. Made it to the airport. Crisis averted, though. The real crime is, my flight is delayed two hours.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Got a snapchat from Megan last night showing you sobbing about a burrito on the floor with Dan in the background trying not to laugh his ass off
I have hobbies that aren't destroying myself and others...i can make hats.....
Slammed 3 beers and just bowled a 129\nI guess alcohol IS the answer
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
I’m also apparently a very socialist drunk now
Instead of a horny one. All I want to fuck is capitalism these days.
Randomize