I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
I just watched a trucker jack off to a picture of Ellen DeGeneres at a truck stop in Nebraska.
How do you know one of your one night stands hasn't produced a child? You may have hundreds of kids.
Pretty sure I don't. One night stands are purely anal..no exceptions.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I feel like everything I touch in this bar I'm gonna get hepatitis. my kinda joint
Dude, its flawless. what could go wrong?
Jail. That could go wrong.
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
i just wrote an ode to an enchilada dorito. i'll need that pregnancy test now please.
I woke up to an alarm on my phone that said "Buy Plan B" and then the guy offered me a hairbrush... which seemed polite at the time
Literally got mad at him this morning because we didn't have time to have sex for a third time. I think I'm getting greedy.
sometimes you just gotta eat tacobell at 2am and cry all your feelings out
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
He's throwing Skittles into my cleavage and some are rebounding into my crouch.
Well he's scoring either way then.
When have you ever know me to go too far?
Besides the alcoholism, the HR issues, and getting fired from Best Buy for tackling a display?
Yeah. Besides those.
Randomize
