Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
it felt like the flash was giving me a handjob
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
I'm sorry, but the way we fuck, they don't make condoms strong enough not to break
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
Is it frowned upon to puke at Keeneland while you're betting on horses or is it just whatev
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
As pissed as she was, you would've thought I was trying to get back into his pants instead of his booze collection.
idk man, I was fucked up and eating fried rice at the grocery store, tried to wave at her but she just looked concerned at me.
I got really adventurous too. Like. Balls in the mouth adventurous.
Should I go bust a nut on the beach
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
Isn't it funny how we're still best friends after that incident with the old lady in the bathroom
You fucking bailed on me. But I love you still
I'm literally about to create a tinder account. Just so someone drives me to get food.
we went outside for a smoke and when we came back in you were ptfo on the floor holding the phone to your ear. Pizza pizza was on the line.
Randomize
