And then I said "flip over. I want to show you something i learned in Afghanistan."
I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
Pick my eyebrow is burning. I'm sitting in the back of dolows vat and listening to jolly music and wilfgang is signing and looking food. Cute kid. Home is where I go now.
what. the. fuck.
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
I doubt the Taliban would support fake nipples.
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Our neighbors just passed us a blunt from their deck, and are hooking us up.
I just baked them cookies. We're friends now.
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
I just found a To Do list on the table, written by me last night, that just says "1. Go downstairs. 2. Get Pickles. 3. Laptop"
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize