Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
It was like watching Stephen Hawking try to swim.
Mass Text: Free blowjob to first person to bring me a nacho cheese chalupa.
like the only thing i remember is bringing a piece of toast to the bar...
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
You were in your third change of clothes, and I found you in my driveway passed out with my dog's food bowl. You win.
Smuggling a beer bottle full of vodka out of the bar with a tampon as a plug for the top of the bottle wasn't one of my classiest ideas... but your hangover proves it was resourceful and effective. Your welcome.
And don't worry, my exact words were "I can't believe a baby came outta that thing"
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
all i remember is arguing with the chick that yahoo was better than google
all you were doing was yelling YAHOOOOO in her face
so i won
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
