I just pulled a feather out of my vagina.
I am not joking.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
When I got up in the middle of the night, puked in his trash can, and snuck out the front door, I pretty sure he knew it was over.
I'm doing blow on my fuzzy rug
Come join me
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
Speaking of church, everyone showed up to lunch in the dining hall in their Sunday best and I walk in looking homeless bc I just got out of bed. I hate this school.
I wish I could be at this cabin banging all these old dads
Using my graduation announcement box as a table to roll a blunt on. I've official stopped giving a shit about senior year
I left her alone for a few minutes and she's already using a guy on his hands and knees as a chair while another guy is serving her margaritas.
just passed my midterm while getting a blow job. i love going to school online
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I wish u could call a dildo. Like you do a missing cell phone.
Randomize
