Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
I said ACK before Andy Samberg made it even remotely funny. That tool is stealing all my lines.
Yeah, you've definitely been jizzing in your pants years before he made it socially acceptable
No jewlry, no bra, and no pen. I couldnt be more prepared for a friday morning class.
can you pick up eggs and chocolate sauce on your way home?
what kind of party is this?
the best kind ever
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
Just spent 15 minutes trying to save the life of a fruit fly that dive-bombed my coffee. I figured it doesn't make sense to let two souls die in this place...
why are all my papers due the day after my potential hangover
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
Vodka?
Forever.
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
His water bottle is sitting on my coffee table like a monolith dedicated to the things he is not doing to my vagina.
I really love you gals. I'm sorry again. I'm just super protective of my poutine
I'm gonna give the church their tithe, and the rest is a down payment on boobs.
I was just going for a one night stand and now I'm at breakfast with his entire family.
Randomize
