i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
i checked my sent messages this morning and i had apparently tried to text the bar, saying "idk what i drank, do you?"
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
she wouldn't stop crying, so we sang her to sleep. i'm guessing you will find her in the same position by the toilet in the morning. night.
I found out that they tried to reenact the Snooki drop by using a jump rope and the banister. Pictures say it all.
just so you know, you can get through airport security with handcuffs no questions asked
If someone would have told me in preschool that I was going to do him I would have said no
Believe it or not, that's part of the whole 'best friend' thing. It's not just yelling at me for making you leave the club early or taking the couch bc I'm doing sex while you're doing bjs.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
So our annual Dick Trip has been tentatively scheduled for the week of July 1 - 5. This years theme is "Fucking for Freedom".
Is this the guy that did shots off my ass at the beach? Haha
Nope I went the fuck home like an adult
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
I just masturbated to the thought of him straight up talking to me. to us having a conversation. What the hell.
I just need to find a good handlebar mustache to sit on until I'm over that beard
Randomize
