who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
I cant do that to my vagina yet. its my prize posession.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Lol. No. We cannot eat chicken while we have sex. No.
You know how most people would take your keys when they don't want you to leave a party? Those 2 girls aren't most people. They took my pants instead.
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
Thank you contacting dial-a-boner. Currently, our boner is on a run to service another client. You can either wait 2 hours for service, or share concurrent service with the current client.
I don't know, I think having hemorrhoids shows character. You have to be trying pretty hard to get them.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
I found a 9 minute video on my phone of you singing into an eggplant.
I guess daylight savings isn't a holiday we need to celebrate for three days...
He pulled out a Plan B pill and handed it to me as I left like it was a party favor. God Bless America.
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
