Only a mothe r could love this liver
Question: why is there a dildo glued to my kitchen table?
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
Its 11am everyones wasted wearing sombreros and eating fresh produce..cesar chavez would be very proud
every time i recognize a doctor or patient at the hospital on this rotation, i just pray it's not from my blackout saturday makeout slut moments...professionalism shouldn't count on weekends
Not to make her into that kind of girl, but she did have a condom mural
like he said he was barking at you while cumming in your face
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
He was just lying on the living room floor watching Star Wars with six empty pack of cigarettes and two empty cases of beer.
In his defence I guess I did take the bed, couch and dining room set in the breakup.
The internet is out at West Chester so I'm masturbating using my imagination. What is this, the fucking dark ages?
Goddamnit, guys. I got lube all over my kindle.
just woke up with a trucker hat, half a grilled cheese, and popcorn spread everywhere. last night must have been good.
I can still taste your cum in my mouth and my in-laws are coming over. This should go well.
Randomize
