Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
my mothers day present is going to be not puking at the table during brunch
I learned an important lesson last night: Jameson giveth, but Jameson also taketh away.
Cruelly.
A guy in a sombrero stopped to take a picture with me sitting on the curb.
I made a drinking game out of watching your DUI video, everytime you say " okay, well thats just your opinion"
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
I just broke a sweat shaving my own vagina. Something has got to change.
It's official, no more fat chicks or even close to that, my balls are 2 dimentional
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
I am almost positive I asked to milk her when I was saying my goodbyes.
I can dry shave vagina like a champ
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
OF COURSE I FUCKED HIM! Did you not read the part about him having red and green Christmas condoms?
do nipples grow back?
Randomize
