So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
why did i wake up with a kid named Raphael in my bed this morning?
I dont know but you did call last night to tell me you found the last ninja turtle
everyone is single if you try hard enough
It usually only happens when Im really excited. Normally not that fast. You still enjoy it?
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
Wait til she sees the pic of her vag in court docs.
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
You're in a tuxedo, you can pee wherever you want.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
I can't believe we really went to walgreens to use their cork opener, bounced and drank a bottle of wine in a sketchy corner...
He's unconstrained by sanity, physics, or his liver.
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
A sultry night of tacos and sex sounds nice. Should I bring home milk?
Randomize
