I came downstairs to find I had missed the 3some on my kitchen floor but not the pukefest or ER trip after it. This is what happens when the voice of reason is otherwise occupied
Look, if he's not the brother with three nipples, I'm just not interested.
No it was the best sex I've had in months. Nothing turns me on more than getting rid of a boyfriend.
I feel like everything in this room is sweating
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
I just made my roommate a 'Hope you don't have chlamydia' cake.
Make one for john too.
I think that's the first time Navy dress blues and a Ninja Turtles onesie have been involved in the same makeout.
I may or may not already be in your hot tub when you get home. I have a key to your house and no shame.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
you seriously don't remember..? but then again, you were taking shots by yourself for like 30mins
I just pawned the ring from my ex boyfriend to replace the ring I lost from my current boyfriend. #thanks
& he told me that I give the best head ever.. like can I get that on a medal?
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
What are you, a fucking toaster ?
Randomize
