It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
Stop introducing me to people as your little sister.
I don't think the lady gaga poster on your wall qualifies you as a brother.
I am drinking at a movie theater seeing a children's movie, 2nd time this week
The best part is when you puked in your slurpree and the 7 eleven guy still made you pay for it
Sooo just headbutted a stripper, meet you outside
Post a pic on facebook and see if those same 46 girls find shitting in the bed handsome and adorable
Some kid just popped open a giant PBR and walked into his final...
Girl please we both know I eat his bullshit up like its candy sprinkled with crack
but I'm still not sure how you became more and more fluent in Spanish the drunker you got
I've officially dedicated my newly single life to making myself squirt.
YOU TOOK A FUCKING SNAP OF ME TRYING TO PEE! I'M GOING TO FUCK YOU WITH THE BUSINESS END OF A RUTED RAKE!
I thought my sex drive was gone but let me tell you it is back with a vengeance
It's Christmas. You could splurge on something a LITTLE fancier than wine in a box.
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
you're like an angel sent from heaven to guide my sex life into greatness
Thats so sweet
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