I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
"women exchanges sex for chips" on msnbc
damn even the hoes are getting hit by this economy
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
Your mom is more observant then Randy Newman.
suddenly, hermaphrodite night sounds like a really bad idea
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
Did Kevin really put his bar tab under the name Hercules last night?
Wine floats aren't as good of an idea as they seem
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I can get there in 20, one question, Drress Code? Stripper Lite (make up may require an additional 5-10 minutes), Suggestive Professor (professor Kamil's cleavage ain't got nothing on me), Daywear, Dyke (and trust me you ain't seen dyke), or Exactly What I'm Wearing Right Now. (all of the above may arrive under a coat and are subject to my level of sobriety. Which is currently like nonexistent).--xoxo you know you love me, Gossip Girl.
He must've been a bear in a previous life. My nipple is bleeding. Shit's sensitive.
I think I passed out drunk at my own jewelry party
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
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