So how did finding that girl you know on GGW go?
I was so pissed when it just previews her all covered up. It would have been easier to just have sex with her
Yeah but then you would have a case of genitals gone wild
I just realized that when I walk away people probably say "wow she really has a drinking problem" and sadly it doesn't bother me.
I locked my keys in my car in front of planned parenthood. I'm terrified of going inside to ask to borrow a clothes hangar.
Just tell them you need to fix a mistake real quick.
Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
Walked home this morning with my contacts in a shot glass.
First class.
I wish you could order shots online.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
I don't know bro, all I could remember is that he kept saying hallelujah and calling that girl Slutimus Prime
He said he would pay my bar tab if he couldn't answer my question. He lost to the age old question of our youth. Why did pogs go out of style.
Bless her heart. Her stupid, drunk, adderall-ed heart.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
my mom talks about my drinking like its a problem and yet this morning she fills me a solo cup with champagne for the shower.
Randomize
