I hope you have a really shitty weekend. I love you.
if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
We hit a deer, sort of a buzz kill. But it's fine.
We were in the backseat and he was giggling uncontrolably. It felt like I was giving head to a 10 year old girl.
It was so delicious I was introducing it to people. Guy from my psych class was like "This is my girlfriend, Erica," and I was like, "This is my milkshake, Oreo."
how opposed are you to picking me up at the bar at 11:00am?
He said he had a problem he needed to take care of before we got omelets and then showed me his erection.
I'm at about main and main street
we didn't have anything to do and wanted to get our money's worth out of our costumes, so if you see two mermaids day drinking by the creek it's us
Note to self: Do not bring gift bag with cock ring inside to family Christmas. Leave to unwrap at home.
I need you to help me convince Steph that she will like Tequila if she would chase it with A-1
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
Told my fifteen year old cousin's friend what to sext his girlfriend last night. He was scarred for life but she fucking loved it.
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Who the fuck is "nick from the beach last year"
No idea hahaha...why?
He just texted me.. Should I ask where I met him?
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