just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
i dont have any money that hasnt already been designated for cigarettes and birth control
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
As I was going down on her I noticed she had a tatoo on her inner thigh that said "Eat it like your birthday cake".
I don't know what's worse, the fact that my parents own a sex swing or the fact that my little cousin was playing on it
I want to apologize in advance in the event I put my boobs in your face
I DONT WANT TO PLUS I THINK I FLUSHED MY KEYS DOWN THE TOILET WHILE I WAS PEEING
STDs are my biggest fear, besides whales. They're so fucking big.
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
The old guy next door tried to get me to go to his apartment for shots formoonshine. =-0
If that weren't so sketchy I would encourage it
Yeah it was almost as sketchy as a white panel van pulling up offering candy
we just smoked for like ten hours and got froyo. not a bad start to the weekend.
Ughh I think I'll just sit here in the dark and wallow in self-pity while drinking wine and knitting scarves for my future cats.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
Randomize